Growing up with a narcissistic mother can be a challenging and painful experience that can have long-lasting effects on an individual’s life. Narcissistic mothers are often emotionally manipulative, and controlling, and have an exaggerated sense of self-importance.

Is my mother a narcissist?

If you suspect that your mother may have narcissistic traits, it’s essential to recognize the signs and seek support to help you cope with the impacts of this type of parenting. Here are 17 signs of a narcissistic mother to watch out for:

1. Conditional love: Narcissistic mothers often only show affection when their child meets their expectations and performs well, and withdraw it when they don’t.
2. Extension of herself: A narcissistic mother may see her child as an extension of herself, rather than an individual with their own thoughts and feelings.
3. Controlling behavior: Whether it’s passive-aggressive or explicit, a narcissistic mother may try to control every aspect of their child’s life, including their relationships, career choices, and even their thoughts.
4. Inability to validate feelings: Narcissistic mothers often dismiss or belittle their child’s feelings, making it difficult for them to develop emotional intelligence or cope with their emotions.
5. Manipulation and lies: A narcissistic mother may use manipulation tactics and lies to control her child and get what she wants.
6. Belittling: Narcissistic mothers often belittle their child, making them feel unworthy and inferior.
7. Rules don’t apply to her: A narcissistic mother may feel entitled to break rules and bend the law, but expects her child to follow every rule and regulation.
8. Unpredictable: A narcissistic mother’s moods and behaviors may be unpredictable, making it difficult for their child to anticipate their reactions or feel safe.
9. Appearance and image is everything: Narcissistic mothers often place an excessive emphasis on their appearance and image, making it a priority over their child’s well-being.
10. Inability to accept different points of view: A narcissistic mother may refuse to accept different points of view that aren’t aligned with hers, making it difficult for her child to express themselves or have independent thoughts.
11. Volatile: A narcissistic mother may have sudden and intense emotional outbursts, making their child feel like they are walking on eggshells.
12. Grandiose behavior and decision-making: A narcissistic mother may make grandiose decisions and take actions that can negatively impact her child’s life.
13. Exaggerated self-importance: Narcissistic mothers often have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, making them believe they are superior to others.
14. Turning the conversation on her: A narcissistic mother may turn every conversation back to herself, making it difficult for her child to express themselves or feel heard.
15. Feelings of envy/jealousy: A narcissistic mother may feel envious of her child’s accomplishments or relationships, leading to jealousy and resentment.
16. Blaming and guilt-tripping: A narcissistic mother may blame her child for her own mistakes and guilt-trip them into doing what she wants.
17. Competing attitudes/accomplishments: Narcissistic mothers may compete with their child, making it difficult for their child to develop their own sense of identity and self-worth.

Signs of a Narcissistic Mother: Final Thoughts

Recognizing the signs of a narcissistic mother can be difficult, especially if you have been conditioned to believe that this type of behavior is normal. However, it’s important to seek support to help you cope with the impacts of this type of parenting and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Remember, you are not alone, and there is help available to support you in your healing journey.