Going no contact with a narcissist: why it’s time to cut the cord

Going no contact with a narcissist can be a difficult but necessary step to take for your mental and emotional well-being. Narcissists can be manipulative and abusive, and their behavior can cause significant harm to those around them.

If you have decided to go no contact with a narcissist, it’s important to understand what this means and how to do it effectively. In this blog post, we will explore what going no contact means, why it’s important, and provide practical tips for implementing it.

What is Going No Contact with a Narcissist?

Going no contact with a narcissist means cutting off any and all communication and contact with them. This includes phone calls, texts, emails, social media interactions, and in-person meetings.

This also means you should not have contact with the narcissist via a third party, you should refuse any gifts from them, you should attempt to stop all thoughts about them, and of course, you should not seek revenge against them.

Ultimately, going no contact means creating a strict boundary between you and the narcissist, both mentally and physically, so they are no longer able to influence or manipulate you. This will require you to block their phone numbers, social media profiles, emails, and any other way they might be able to reach you in our digital age.

Why is Going No Contact Important?

Going no contact with a narcissist is important for several reasons. Firstly, it allows you to take control of the situation and prioritize your mental and emotional health. Narcissists can be incredibly draining and toxic to be around, and going no contact can provide much-needed space and time to heal.

Secondly, going no contact can help you break free from the cycle of abuse and manipulation. Narcissists thrive on control and often use tactics such as gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and intimidation to maintain their power over others. By going no contact, you are taking away their ability to continue this cycle and reclaiming your autonomy. You are no longer giving them the ability to continue with their destructive behaviors.

Finally, going no contact can help you move on from the narcissistic relationship and begin to rebuild your life. Narcissistic relationships can be all-consuming, and breaking away can provide an opportunity to rediscover yourself, your interests, and your passions.

Tips for Going No Contact with a Narcissist

Going no contact with a narcissist is a challenging endeavor that should not be taken lightly. Here are some tips to prepare to break contact with the narcissistic person in your life.

Plan ahead before going no contact

Before going no contact, it’s important to plan for any potential challenges or obstacles that may arise. This could include finding alternative accommodation, changing your phone number, or setting up new social media accounts. Make sure you have a support system in place and let trusted friends and family know what you are doing.

Block all forms of communication

This means blocking the narcissist’s phone number, email address, and social media profiles. It may also mean unfriending mutual acquaintances or people who may be relaying information back to the narcissist.

Stay strong during a narcissist’s manipulation tactics

Going no contact can be difficult, especially if the narcissist tries to reach out to you or attempts to manipulate you. Remember, narcissists will use a variety of manipulation tactics to get you to bite and get back into contact with them. Do not let this cause you to waiver!

It’s important to stay strong and remember why you are doing this. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and going no contact is a step towards achieving this. It might be helpful to keep a journal during this process as it can help you remember why you went no contact in the first place.

Seek professional help for narcissistic abuse

Narcissistic abuse can have long-lasting effects on your mental health and well-being. Seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can provide a safe space to process your emotions and develop healthy coping strategies. There are different types of therapy for narcissistic abuse that can help navigate the complexity of this healing process.

This might require some trial and error as far as therapeutic methods go, but this is the best investment you can make in yourself in your attempt to heal from narcissistic abuse.

Related: Top 10 Books Narcissistic Abuse Survivors Must Read

Pros of Going No Contact

Embracing a no-contact approach with a narcissist comes with a host of advantages for one’s emotional and psychological well-being. Firstly, it grants individuals liberation from the corrosive cycle of manipulation, deceit, and emotional exploitation frequently orchestrated by narcissists.

By severing ties, individuals can rediscover their autonomy and self-worth, both of which might have disappeared during the relationship. Furthermore, the no-contact strategy offers a platform for personal development and healing, allowing individuals to prioritize self-nurturing and self-exploration devoid of the persistent turbulence and stress that often accompanies narcissistic relationships.

It can also pave the way for healthier and more fulfilling connections with friends and family, as the narcissist’s detrimental impact fades away. Ultimately, adopting a no-contact stance towards a narcissist represents a courageous stride toward reclaiming one’s life and discovering the tranquility and joy that may have remained elusive in the presence of such toxicity.

Cons of Going No Contact

Narcissists often struggle with respecting the boundaries of others and will likely attempt some sort of reunion. They might employ manipulative strategies stemming from their narcissistic traits such as narcissistic compassion, or they might resort to hostile and intimidating behaviors.

Sustaining the no-contact principle can pose a significant challenge for individuals who have endured the brunt of narcissistic mistreatment. It’s not uncommon to experience guilt and entertain unfounded hopes of the narcissist reforming should you grant them another opportunity.

Nonetheless, it remains paramount to hold onto the original rationale that prompted the decision to cut ties with the narcissist as you cease communication with them.

How will going no contact affect the narcissist?

Enforcing no contact often creates adverse effects on the narcissist. Narcissists rely on their victims/supply for constant admiration, power, and validation to uphold their fragile self-esteem and inflated self-image. When you sever ties with a narcissist, you disrupt their hold over you, setting in motion a downward spiral marked by emotional collapse, despondency, or rage.

The consequences of cutting off communication can manifest in the following ways:

They undergo a narcissistic collapse

This entails a cluster of emotional and behavioral reactions triggered by perceived threats to their sense of superiority. The cessation of attention and adoration, following the implementation of no contact, can trigger such a collapse.

They seek new supply

Narcissists incessantly crave unending admiration, preferential treatment, and validation to nourish their deep-seated entitlement and grandiosity. When their source of narcissistic supply runs dry, they desperately seek means to recapture this attention.

They spiral out mentally

Depression and anxiety frequently accompany the narcissistic collapse, brought on by the loss of their emotional supply..

They ignore the changes in your relationship

Their refusal to acknowledge your boundaries stems from their denial of your decision to end the relationship. Since it is a choice they didn’t make, they do not care to respect your choice to break contact. They cannot stand not being in control anymore.

They try extra hard to lure you back

The implementation of no contact may compel the narcissist to make persistent efforts to reconnect with you, resorting to any means necessary. This can become dangerous.

They get angry

This anger can be self-directed, leading to self-destructive behaviors, suicidal ideation, or directed outwardly, potentially targeting you. The frustration stemming from unmet emotional needs might undermine their self-control and amplify impulsiveness.

Going no contact is the first step toward freedom from a narcissist

Going no contact with a narcissist can be a challenging but necessary step to take for your mental and emotional well-being. It’s important to understand what going no contact means, why it’s important, and how to implement it effectively.

By planning ahead, blocking all forms of communication, staying strong, and seeking professional help, you can break free from the cycle of abuse and begin to rebuild your life. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and going no contact is a step towards achieving this.